5 October 20, 2006
Hail, Citizen Kreider!
I wanted to take a few moments out of my busy-bee Thursday to convey to you my sincere thanks and (at the risk of being verbose) gushing affection for the Pain.
I've been an avid reader for years now, yet regrettably this is my first attempt at correspondence. It occurred to me during your summer hiatus (and upon reading your rather gloomy summer writings) that the precarious (perhaps desperate) political and social climate in which we find ourselves these days has a palpable effect on all of us; both emotionally and physically speaking.
"We", of course, being all the commiserating, true, red-blooded, peace-loving, faith-based-politics-hating, fat-cat-despising, pork-spending-detesting, free-thinking AMURK'NS that comprise our loose-knit family of misanthropic reprobates.
Anyway, I'm so glad that you have returned in good health and good cheer. I have no idea whatsoever as to the volume of mail you receive from readers, but whatever that amount, I feel that WE as readers have an obligation to tell YOU, the author, when you've touched us, wowed us, depressed us, cheered us up, and challenged us. That dipole is what feeds the relationship between author an reader and defines that magical relationship. I know that were I to produce something singular, sincere and poignant for the comfort of my brothers and sisters, the feedback and sense of community would make the whole tedious, thankless process (albeit cathartic, no doubt) totally worth it.
Alas, forgive me - brevity is not my strong suit when it comes to the written word. Let me get to the point.
You are extremely funny. You have a sophisticated grasp of humor that is at once insightful, witty, sardonic, gritty, and above all, honest. Your artistic ability is unequaled - you have the incredible ability to encapsulate complex concepts and emotions into a caricature, or more incredibly still, into a single feature of said caricatures, be they facial expressions, postures, butter-ball fat rolls, or (too rarely) gigantic, raging hard-ons. All of this is topped off with a delicious cream-cheese frosting that you call the "Artist's Statement" which gives your readers a valuable and candid glimpse into your psyche and the mental process that goes into a given comic. The Statement provides a certain feeling of comradery and familiarity that is too often withheld by artists. Your authentic and relatively serious writing style contrasts nicely with the cartoon, and hammers-home that you sincerely believe in that which you put to paper. What you do is important.
I guess what I want to tell you is that you have touched me, wowed me, depressed me, cheered me up, and challenged me. This is no small task. You are truly unique and talented, and you are very much appreciated.
Please continue the good fight for all us sinners. Above all, I implore you to enjoy what you do.
Take care brother.
9 October 2006
Also, excellent pome about sticks and stones. Gotta agree with two points strongly; Catholic females, over the age of 18, and wearing those uniforms are pretty hot, and those Islamic bean pies, whatever they're called, are pretty damn good. Of course for the central thesis of religion being kinda fucked up all around, hey, in my case, you're preaching to the choir.
Excellent turn of phrase re. "The grownups are talking now" when some zealot wants to push Intelligent Design into the conversation.
Remember, I'll underground railroad your ass out of the US into beautiful Canada if and when the feds come for you. About three miles downstream from my house is the actual crossing point on the Niagara river for the old underground railroad. Until about five years ago they had an hilarious sign showing the silhouette of a raggedy bare-foot, bindle carrying dude with a prominent afro with water drops coming off him. Don't worry, I've got a boat, you won't get wet.
9 October 20, 2006
Mr. Kreider; (courtesy of Ms. Czochula-Hautpanz)
I just wanted to write and tell you of my profound appreciation of your comic. I grew up in rural Texas, the only atheist among an entire family of fundamentalists, and your comic, as well as the works of Hunter S. Thompson, the stand-up comedy of Bill Hicks, as well as many other artists, have been all that have kept me sane over the last few years. Thankfully, I have escaped to Denton, which though still in Texas, is a bastion of liberalism and free-thought in the South. I own both of your books, and would instantly purchase any other books, posters, shirts, etc. that you produced. If you ever find yourself in the area for some horrible reason, I would be glad to buy you a drink.
10 October 20, 2006
I read with tremors the Letter pages to see ones from me. As worse, the true notes from others are impressive. My efforts seek my English, poorly.
I ask why do my letters include? For the humorous laugh, or I am an example for the difficult way [futiliteit?] of making an understanding to others of my thinking.
It is more bad just now because I already drank five Belgians ales.
10 October 2006
Dearest XIV Contessa Czochula,
On the off chance that he were not aware, it would be good of you to inform Mr. Kreider that the state of Maryland gives free dial-up internet to any of its citizens who have access to a library card. I have tried it out myself and confirmed that it is a high quality, real connection to the internet which can be used from any ibm, mac, or exotic unix machine Mr. Kreider may happen to own. All of the information is at
I only recently noticed a letter in which Mr. Kreider points out his use of dial-up access and thought it would be a tragedy if he were paying $10/month for Earthlink or something.
10 October 20, 2006
I'm a big fan of your work, from London (England). This is just a quick email to suggest that if you get tired of the extremist Christians messing with the state in your country, you can always move to Europe. We don't merge state and religion, and there is enough news coverage of America for you to take the piss out of your politicians anyday.
10 October 2006
Ms. Hautpanz, please tell Tim I am madly infatuated with him, and that if he ever visits fabulous east-central Illinois, I will most gladly take him out for a few PBR's.
P.S. If it is any incentive, I am a cute scientist in training with "junk in
11 October 2006
I liked your presentation at the Mo's show Monday. I also said favorable things about you on my site: www.HeatherFink.com
Ok, have a nice day :)
[Subject heading:"Why stop at your van?"]
...or your gamer's PC, or your C-leg?:
Warning: no joke: the children's section may make you physically ill.
Coffins should be dark, solemn, plain, and (if you're Jewish) relatively flimsy.
12 October 2006
Your babies: when can I start having them?
Truly brilliant cartoon this week Tim. A call for sanity I wish I could post in every city around the world. Like the Lennon and Yoko "war is over if you want it" thing, but less faggy. (as a member of PFLAG I can use the word Faggy, the queeer's signed it over to me along with the button.)
Anywho, keep up the good work. Those of us who are freezing our asses off in Michigan (the blues state in the midwest) think you are awesome!
P.S. Keep up the good work!
13 October 2006
Dear Ms. Hautpanz,
I'm writing because I'd like to put a link to thepaincomics.com on me ol' blog. I know I could just go ahead and do it and no one would be the wiser, but I always like to ask first.
If you'd like to visit said blog, it's at www.kennypittenger.blogspot.com
I know and work with many deviant (yet lovable) artists who I think would really enjoy The Pain, When Will it End? Blah blah blah, etc. Please let me know, eh?
13 October 2006
You've probably already had other people point this out, but just in case...
In reference to the October 4th artist's statement where it is mentioned, "noted atheists Mao, Stalin, and Hitler," I should point out that Hitler was *not* an atheist. It is not particularly clear what exactly he did believe, but it certainly appears as though he believed in some sort of god similar to the Christian one. He apparently also believed in Jesus. For some background see the Wikipedia entry here:
17 October 2006I love The Pain.....I was searching for a support the troops pic or image I could post on myspace when your site ended up in the search. I love the cartoons and especially the enemies list. The dime lady is hilarious. I know not all of it is jokes but I hope to contribute somehow to your evergrowing effort. And if at all possible is there a mailing list I can get on. Thank-You
19 October 2006
I have been enjoying Tim Kreider's work for awhile now, and hope to enjoy it for a long time to come (so yes, there is a fan in France !). But one question strikes me following me this week's cartoon: Please, why Superman ??
Thank you and best wishes
19 October 2006
You'll get the typical faire of comments about it, ranging from it's hilarious to it's anti-semitic, and the intellectually-anal ones, of which mine will be.
Although Judaism will claim to be the first monotheistic faith as you mentioned, they may well not have been. Although they claim to have originated around 2000 BC (Legitimacy to be gained by saying 'we're were the first', if they did not originate then), they 'may' have been predated by two others. One was some crazy egyptian god named Aten, and the other was the Persian religion of Zoroastrianism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoroastrianism). I say the word may because I haven't been able to locate off of my memory or online the dates of either of those three's arrival. They also seem to have ripped the zoroastrians off in the concept of the devil.
The irony is that every faith seems to consider themselves distinct from their others. Either you're the final version (Islam), the original (Judaism) or the completion (I guess messianic Jesus). Zoroastrianism was not abrahamic, but even it seems to have origins in Vedic Gods, which originate from worshipping all sorts of silly, pagan stuff.
I have no idea why I wanted to be intellectually anal and mention this, but that being said, it was a quite funny comic.
It was of poor action on my behalf to assume he would not have known of the two, and certainly your explanation helps me understand why Judaism and Christianity were focused on. The only remark I would have 'against' your explanation is that in the casual poking around I've done, Zoroastrianism (Mispelled here, I believe) is considered to have had some prominent influence on Judaism and Christianity. Of course, being as it influenced the 'influencer', it would have less impact on Western Civilization as Judeo-Christian tradition has done. Thank you for your explanation and time.
Well regards, Cody
23 October 2006
You meant Chartres, right??
I hope for you you will publish a public apology for this, people from Chartres are kind of touchy... The kind that will hunt you and track you down to the end of the world for misspelling their city's name, and they'll have you drink their "chartreuse", a disgusting plant alcohol that smells like Apache medication...
That's some Kind of french Fatwa, if you will...
PS: Don't tell no one I wrote that Chartreuse is "disgusting"... I'm risking a lot there, you see
26 October 2006
First, let me say 'hello', I hope you are doing well here in The ol' U.S.A.. Also, may I ask that you pass a 'hello' on to your father the Count as well. I am sure he will appreciate hearing a friendly salutation from the man who made him who he is today.
I noticed an error in Tim's cartoon for the week of 10/04/2006 titled "Contributions of the World's Religions" Christianity. Depicted in panel one "Wholesome TV Programming" is Hee Haw. While Hee Haw may be a wholesome T. V. show it should not without a doubt be attributed to Christians. Hee Haw was simply written by some funny folks from Nashville. Christians wouldn't put scantily clad women hanging their cloths out on a line while having insulting conversations about their men. Would Christians concerned with wholesome broadcasting truly approve of Grandpa Jones' crock of shine or listening to the likes of outlaw country singers like Merle Haggard, Hank Jr. or Waylon Jennings? I don't think so.
My advice for Tim in the future, in matters similar these, first consult with a knowledgeable source to avoid making such obvious mistakes.
James the Large (currently ruling the lands between Main St. and Elkton Rd.)
28 October 2006
Dear Tim Kreider and Ms. Hautpanz. Inspired by the issues of "The Pain--When Will It End?" I am compelled to write to you. The comic is disturbingly accurate. Disturbingly why? Because many atrocities committed in the todayŐs world are committed by people who we would not believe the culprit of theses crimes against humanity. Now, after a long sentence of gibberish I wish to say thank you for making me laugh.
I live in Finland. A nice little place to live in, except our government which seems to attempt following in the footsteps of your dear dictator and his closest advisors. As I am a smoker, drinker (and user of drugs not mentioned herein) I am troubled by the fact that FinlandŐs restaurants will be smoke free after New YearŐs Eve. Also a law is in the making that would make smoking in public places, such as the roads, illegal.
We recently celebrated the 100th year of parliament in our country. Some of the festivities included: buying electric projectile weapons for the police, arresting 136 people during the "riots" of ASEM - meeting, taking the whole parliament to Russia toa watch a Finnish opera piece, publishing a book about parliament which was available only to the parliament, taking the members of parliament back to Finland to eat and drink (lobster, veal and of course game! yay!) hosting an evening get together for the members of the parliament for food and drinks, drinking and eating all of which cost only (not inlcuding the arrests and tasers) nearly 6 million euros. It is nice to know, we have a
healthy ( by healthy I mean big parliament: almost two hundred members plus their assistants and staff) parliament, democratic system and a huge shortage of teachers and nurses.
Well, as my former girlfriend told me - I am a negative by nature. I replied simply by stating that it would be amusing if all the violence and homicidal tendencies, which we do have quite a lot here in Finland compared to it's small size, would be targeted towards our ruling class. Now that would be quite the spectacle. Just dreaming though and for the Finnish secret police called SUPO: Just kidding, please don't barge in to my flat three in the morning, mace me, cuff me and make me sit twelve hours in a row without the chance to go to a bathroom before you even read me my rights.
About the ASEM-meeting riot aftermath, the police department issued a statement that though the police department was subject to loads of criticism no complaints were sued against no single police officer - thus a job well done. I agree, it's funny how a sixteen-year-old protester getting mauled by the police cannot tell the difference between two riot-gear-wearing police officers. Especially when they are masked, armored, very angry and do not sport any id but only the number of their platoon.
It has been a heartwrenching time writing this. Mostly 'cause my stomach is not co-operating with anything that I have eaten and mostly because I am intoxicated.
Thank you and happy fall.