photos by Sam Holden

    The Hautpänz Letters Archive

  • July 2005: In Which It Is Determined The President Must Be Killed.
  • August 2005: Mr. Kreider is Told to Shut Up; Dancing on the Grave of Reagan.
  • September 2005: Bitter is the Man Who Suffers in His Heart.
  • October 2005: The Giant Squid; Mr. Kreider Exposed as a Homosexual.
  • November 2005: A Letter from The President.
  • December 2005: Another Groupie for Mr. Kreider.

  • January 2006 : Talking Animals of the Bible; The Big Lebowski.
  • February 2006: The Holocaust Contest; Rapprochement with Syria.
  • March 2006: On Whether Jesus Was a Negro; Yet Another Groupie.
  • April 2006: Mr. Kreider Likened to a Klansman; Restaurant Recommendations.
  • May 2006: The Definition of Rapine; A Blowjob Proffered.
  • June 2006: The Relative Villany of Hitler Quantified; A Declaration of Love.
  • July 2006: The Hiatus; A Bitter Herbalist; An Offended Norseman.
  • August 2006: The Destruction of Pluto.
  • September 2006: Advice for Mr. Kreider; Aftermath of Pluto's Destruction.
  • October 2006: Mr. Kreider Offered Refuge Abroad; The Drunken Finn's Lament.
  • November 2006: The Arrogrant Radman Speaks; The Picking of Nits.
  • December 2006: Tedious Support for Reagan; A Natural History of W_______.

  • January 2007: The W______s, Waminated; Attempts to Console Mr. Kreider.
  • February 2007: Support/Reproach for Mr. Kreider; Letter to a Young Cartoonist.
  • March 2007: Why Mr. Kreider Draws Such Good Cartoons; Captain America.
  • April 2007: Concern for Mr. Kreider's Well-Being; Advice to the Angry Young.
  • May 2007: Readers Grow Impatient for Mr. Kreider's Return.
  • June 2007: Ray Bradbury and The Brow; China and The Belt of Scum.
  • July 2007: Concern for Mr. Kreider's Well-Being; Ms. C.-H.'s Existance Confirmed.
  • August 2007: Growing Impatience for the Self-Pity and the Fellating Frog-Puppet.
  • September 2007: Condolences; Advice to Youth; Guns; Vulva.
  • October 2007: Vulva (cont.); The Smells of the Celebrated; O Mr. Tehn.
  • November 2007: Intimations of Martial Law; Again, Mr. Kreider an Asshole.
  • December 2007: Mr. Kreider Taken to Task at Tiresome Length Over the Muslims.

  • January 2008: Compliments from Expatriates, Fellow Alumni, and Children.
  • February 2008: The Forbidden Thoughts; Greetings from the Scum Belt, and Mexico.
  • March 2008: Casus; Vengeance; Mr. Kreider Insulted and Harangued.
  • April 2008: Our Advertising Policy; Apology to the Swedes; The Tedium of Peak Oil.
  • May 2008: An Impostor; Mystery of the Rhino Horn; A Swede Let Down; Rampant.
  • June 2008: Babies w/ Cheese; The Queer, Smeared; Compliments from the High.
  • July 2008: A Rubai: Mr. Kreider's Simplistic World; Asschickens; Ludwig and Adolf.
  • August 2008: Corrections/Reassurances; Obscene Bush Fantasy; Shitty Cartoon; Quintet.
  • September 2008:
  • October 2008:
  • November 2008:
  • December 2008:

All fan, business, and groupie e-mail should be directed to the following address:

Messages including the phrase "We can't pay you anything, but it'll be great exposure" will not be answered.

Tim Kreider's literary agent is the fabulous Meg Thompson of the Einstein Thompson Agency. You can contact her at:


Letters written on pieces of paper and packages will still be delivered by the U.S. Postal Service to:

P.O. Box 422
Charlestown, MD

Ms. Phelætia Czochula-Hautpänz is no longer associated with this website and cannot receive personal messages or proposals of marriage through it.

Tim Kreider was born and educated in Baltimore, Maryland. His cartoon, The Pain--When Will It End?, has run in the Baltimore City Paper since 1997 and has also appeared in the Jackson Planet Weekly, The New York Press, The Stranger, and Philadelphia Weekly. Fantagraphics Books has published two collections of his cartoons, The Pain--When Will It End? (2004) and Why Do They Kill Me? (2005), and he was included in Ted Rall's anthology Attitude 2: The New Subversive Alternative Cartoonists (2004). His essays have appeared in The New York Times, Film Quarterly, The Comics Journal, Jump Cut, and Lip, and have been anthologized in Depth of Field: Stanley Kubrick and the Uses of History (University of Wisconsin Press), Contemporary Literary Criticism, Vol. 162 (The Gale Group), Multicultural Film: A Reader (Pearson Custom Publishing), and The Education of a Cartoonist (Allworth Press). He has appeared on Nightline and delivered commentary for ABC World News Online. He divides his time between New York City and an undisclosed location on the Chesapeake Bay.

Phelætia Czochula-Hautpänz was born in 1980 in what is now part of Hungary. She is nominally the fourteenth Contessa of the Czochula line, although she does not use her formal title. She read serials like Asterix and Tintin as a girl and became interested in bande dessinee for adults while studying literature at the University of Turin. She went on to study semiotics and the graphic novel at the University of Paris, where she wrote her master's thesis on The Story of O. Her first graphic novella, a noir titled Le Gros Homme Seul Pleure, was well-received in Europe. She was interned to Tim Kreider from 2005 through 2007 under the auspices of the Paris International Mentoring Program. She believes that comics creators are underappreciated as artists in the United States and was grateful for this opportunity to promote their work and learn from a professional whose work she respects. She is currently at work on her first graphic novel in English, The Cat of the Man Who Did Not Love Anything.


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