Artist's Statement
Artist's interpretation of Mario Incandenza from Infinite
Jest, by David Foster Walllace.
The Pain notes,
with a sense of loss more personal than might seem reasonable,
the death of writer David Foster Wallace. Interested readers
will be able to read my inadequate words on the importance
of his work in the Baltimore City Paper next week.
In the less formal forum of this website I will mention that
I had some slight personal connection to Dave Wallace. I
obtained his address through mildly illicit means to send
him some of my early minicomics. Although he alluded darkly
to reprisals that were even then on their way to the person
who'd passed his information on to me, he forgave all because "these
comix are extremely extremely fucking good." He wrote
that he and his girlfriend had laughed so hard they'd "gotten
all adrenalized and couldn't fall asleep," which as
you can imagine made me very happy. He even used one of my
jokes in a story, which did me equal parts honor and injury.
I maybe got a little testy about it. Anyway the guilt gave
me leverage to extort a blurb out of him for my first book,
a blurb which, it being somewhat grudging, he made as ridiculous
as possible. It read:
" I have had the cartoon 'Male Anorexia'
on my bathroom mirror for the last seventeen months. I
cannot floss, pimple-scan, or shave without it. I am it;
he is
me. Kreider rules, and also has a truly mammoth penis--you'd
['almost' interpolated w/ caret as if by afterthought]
have to see it to believe it."
In return for this blurb he demanded the original
of "Male Anorexia." A year or so after I sent him
the drawing he happened to find the note I'd tucked into
the back of it for the first time, in which I'd acknowledged
the emotion restrained behind the cold stylistic façade
of Brief Interviews With Hideous Men and told him
not to worry about those obstuse reviewers. He wrote to tell
me that he "was (and am) touched." We corresponded
intermittently, by which I mean I wrote him effusive, confiding
letters and he wrote cordial, friendly postcards in reply.
I met him only once, at a book signing, where he inquired
how my book release party had gone. My friend Megan, who
witnessed our brief interaction, later observed that we were
both "extremely well brought-up." I loved him, inasmuch as
we
can love people we don’t
actually know, which turns out to be a surprising lot.
The first time I ever heard of him was when
I read “Shipping Out” in Harper’s,
later republished in expanded form as the title story in A
Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again. I kept
laughing out loud in astonishment and delight and flipping
ahead in hopes that there would be more, and there always
was. It went on forever. I couldn’t believe I’d
never heard of this guy—it was the funniest sustained
piece of prose I’d read since Fear and Loathing
in Las Vegas or Denis Johnson’s story “Emergency!” He
seemed to be exactly the writer I would be if only I were
much smarter, and a much better writer. In his recent work
he had become increasingly concerned with the subject of
evil, and its corollary, the question of how to be fully,
consciously human, and what it means to be good. He explicitly
set himself a great artistic project: writing “morally
passionate, passionately moral fiction [that] was also ingenious
and radiantly human fiction,” and his last essays and
stories appeared to be efforts toward fulfilling that agenda.
I would refer readers to his much-forwarded commencement
address to Kenyon College--especially the passages in
which he urges us to resist falling into lazy, unconscious
habits of thought, even educated, liberal, PC, socially conscious
habits of thought:
...being disgusted about all the huge, stupid, lane-blocking SUV's and Hummers
and V-12 pickup trucks, burning their wasteful, selfish, forty-gallon
tanks of gas, and I can dwell on the fact that the patriotic or religious
bumper-stickers always seem to be on the biggest, most disgustingly selfish
vehicles, driven by the ugliest, most inconsiderate and aggressive drivers.
And […] how our children's children will despise us for wasting
all the future's fuel, and probably screwing up the climate, and how
spoiled and stupid and selfish and disgusting we all are, and how modern
consumer society just sucks, and so forth and so on.
He urges us instead, through a conscious effort
of imagination and empathy and will, to choose to interperet
even the most frustrating and dull experiences “as
not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force
that made the stars.” He cautioned against enclosing
ourselves in invincible, and inescapable, Hells of absolute
certainty in his essay on talk radio, “Host.” I
have thought of him often, and guiltily, as I drew another
uncharitable broad caricature of, or composed yet another
satisfyingly vituperative and self-righteous screed against,
the shithead voters of the Red States. His authorial voice
was always in my head like a conscience, reminding me that
I knew very well that I was forfeiting fairness for humor,
compromising my intellectual honestly and integrity for a
good punchline.
Which brings us conveniently round to this
week's cartoon. Two of my readers
sent me links to this
piece by a liberal psychologist, taking a thoughtful,
unjudgmental look at why people vote conservative, often
against their own economic interests. I would urge you to
read it, but if you’re too pressed for time or just
too lazy I will try to synopsize: liberalism only addresses
moral values of individual freedom and equality, not the
equally important ones that Durkheim categorized as ingroup
loyalty, respect for authority, and purity. This piece has
changed and clarified my thinking on the whole topic; it
has the explanatory elegance of a good theory, making more
sense of all the data without resorting to reductive judgments--the
equivalent of supernatural causes in science--like, "Well,
they're all just idiots."
I've always thought it was the Democrats who
appealed to the we're-all-in-the-same-boat social contract
while the Republican philosophy was more like, screw
you, every man for himself, especially me, jack. It
seems to me that the conservatism the author's talking about
is a social/religious conservatism--the Republican base--rather
than fiscal conservatism--the Republican leadership. These
two factions of conservatism are really at odds at heart,
the one hankering after community and ethicality, the other
willing to sell out the American dream and the country's
future for a rise in profits next quarter. But I suppose
the evangelical base knows it's the corporate leadership
that gets them access to power, and power is universally
seductive. (“Again, the devil took him to a very
high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world
and their splendor. ‘All this I will give you," he
said, ‘if you will bow down and worship me.’” –Matthew
4: 8,9.)
It’s true that
liberalism addresses only secular needs and leaves it to
individuals to fend for themselves for community and inclusion
and spiritual fulfillment--wisely so, it seems to me. We’ve
had enough of the religion being the state (or, maybe even
worse, the state being the religion, as in Stalinism/Maoism/Jong
Illism). Historically, it just hasn’t worked out all
that well. So the utopia of the left is pretty much exclusively
concerned with material needs and political rights. The liberal
paradise is basically Canada. On the other hand, liberals
are also by and large just as lost and starved for spirituality
and community as conservatives. And as David Foster Wallace
warns in that Kenyon address, “in the day-to day trenches
of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism.
There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships.
The only choice we get is what to worship.” Among secular
liberals there has been a great diaspora into a scattershot
variety of newly invented, revived, and updated religions,
mystical traditions, and semispiritual practices: pot-smoking
Unitarians, wife-swapping Quakers, halfassed Buddhists, Dalai
Lamaheads, Hare Krishnas, Wiccans, Druids, Heathens (I got
a couple of angry letters from devotees of Asatru over “Science
vs. Norse Mythology”), Yoga, Reiki, the Tarot, not
to speak of the contemptible Scientology scam.
And liberals yearn, just as conservatives
do, to immerse and lose themselves in some ecstatic, Oceanic
mass movement. It’s just that our reflexive skepticism
prevents us from letting ourselves get carried off on the
wave—a skepticism that’s usually well justified,
since most of the bandwagons we’re always being urged
to jump on are loaded with mean-drunk bumpkins and headed
for the ditch. (I’m thinking of a conservative
poster showing a grinning GI, ca. WWII, with the slogan, “How
About Rooting for Our Side for a Change, You Liberal Morons.”)
So we tend to create arbitrary artificial communities–what
Kurt Vonnegut called granfalloons—like Burning Man
or Star Trek conventions, which, although far more harmless
and friendly than their conservative counterparts like Burning
Negro or the Southern Baptist Convention, are still jerry-rigged
and temporary and ultimately unsatisfying.
The problem remains that most conservative
answers to these deep human needs are simplistic and repressive
and obsolete, if not outright racist and mean-spirited and
stupid. The conservative paradise, where everyone belongs
to one big homogenous group and unanimously reveres and supports
the government and maintains strict moral purity, is Iran.
And it gets hard to keep honest, fair, and charitable thoughts
about my fellow Americans in my head when the economy’s
collapsing and what’s on CNN is fluff about the dingbat
governor of Alaska, whose name the whole country is apparently
writing on its notebook covers with little hearts over the i in
Palin. It seems like, having been ruthlessly screwed by eight
years of deregulation, regressive taxation, trickle-down
economics, and warmongering, Red America is getting ready
to vote for more of the same, please. A reader of mine described
the current election as “the rise of the quatra-annual
Great Stupid, ready to wash down the most articulate presidential
candidate in decades in a vortex of mind-numbing semi-conscious
hatred.” But, see, I'm doing it again. The main challenge
in trying to be decent and compassionate and empathetic is
always, of course, other people.
But reading George Saunders's essay in The
Brian-Dead Megaphone about hanging out with Minutemen,
those paramilitary wannabes who patrol the Mexican border,
several of whom turn out to be medieval reënactors
and have mail-order Russian brides, or Matt Taibbi's account
in The Great Derangement of joining a fundamentalist
megachurch in Texas and meeting the deluded divorcees and
recovering drug addicts there who don't understand why
their kids don't call them, or of sitting down to lunch
with a group of 9/11 Truthers who'd picketed his office
and finding them to be basically nice people who just get
all het up on the internet, I'm reminded that the shitheads
and dingbats and I vilify in my cartoons are plain old
sad, screwed-up, lonely people like me. A correspondent
once reported to me that Ann Coulter is a genuinely nice
person--someone who really listens to you, who laughs out
loud at other people's jokes, and a Deadhead besides. (Note
sure whether, given her written/public persona, this makes
Ann Coulter a better person I'd imagined or a worse one.)
My friend John once told me I was a better person than
my beliefs. I think everyone is. Belief and ideology always
seem to make people more simple-minded, sure of themselves,
and nastier than they really are. Ask
me about all this again in November, though.
This is, by the way, the first time since
John's passing that I have violated our pact stipulating
that I could revile Christianity and the South in my cartoons
all I wanted as long as I refrained from mocking the sport
of golf, which was sacrosanct to him.
Not sure whether this
pact is voided by his death, but it didn’t occur to
me or give me pause as I was drawing the last panel, which
I think it would have had John still been alive. Hopefully
he would’ve forgiven me.
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