Note: July letters are posted. Because of
the increasing number of messages I receive, I can no longer
promise to respond to everyone who writes. (Ms. C.-H. is
missed around here.) Please know that your kind words mean
a lot to me, as they are about the only positive reinforcement
I get for the work I do. Offers of payment/publicity, hilarious
cartoon ideas, and naked photos are always welcome.
Artist's Statement
My old friend Dave Dudley, now the editor
of the Baltimore-based magazine The Urbanite, commissioned
me to do a piece for his August issue, whose theme was “True
Stories,” which was to explore the blurry boundary
between fiction and nonfiction. I drew a 2-page comic titled “The
Stabbing Story,” which you can see here in
pdf form or in actual print in The Urbanite, if
you live in Baltimore.
This was only the second comic story I’ve
ever drawn (the first was a story about the single meeting
between Joyce and Proust, printed in The Comics Journal’s
Special Edition, Winter 2004, Volume 4, for you completists).
As intolerably dull as I find having to draw scenes of People
Sitting Around Talking—which is why I’ve never
even considered doing a graphic novel--I got pretty interested
in this foray into the graphic essay. It seemed possible
that this might become a new thing for me. So this week,
bored just about to the point of retirement with drawing
a weekly topical cartoon, I’m trying something different.
It’s less like one of my traditional cartoons, with
a premise and variations, than an illustrated essay--effectively,
a cartoon and artist’s statement combined. Which pretty
much obviates the need for an artist’s statement this
week.
I would just like to point out some more striking
examples of The Pain’s prescience: accusations
that John Edwards fathered an illicit love child (back on
20 October 2004) and the fucking Russians up to their old
geopolitical mischief (13 June 2007).
Rumors that I am John Edwards’ illegitimate
love child are absurd, without any foundation in fact, based
on the circumstantial evidence of my gross physical similarity
to the Senator and the fact that I was adopted. However,
Sen. Edwards would have to have been fifteen years old at
the time of my conception, and as he was then in North Carolina
and I was born in Maryland it all seems very unlikely. Nice
that our nation’s tabloids and TV shows are making
this the front-page headline at the same time that the Russians
invaded Georgia. Which reminds me:
The fucking Russians, man! What’s that about?
It’s an article of faith among free-market cheerleaders
that capitalism and democracy go hand-in-hand, that the one
always inevitably promotes the other by some unspecified
mechanism. No real evidence of this on the world stage, however.
Russia, making a killing on the world oil/natural gas/mail-order
bride market, is a gangster state where the President can
have you pushed off a roof for writing the wrong thing in
the papers. China, a capitalist behemoth whose economy is
the envy of the world, is run by the same cabal of scared,
senile totalitarians who ordered college kids crushed under
tank treads at Tiananmen Square. It’s looking like
the immediate future, at least, belongs to authoritarian
capitalist regimes—not exactly fascist, since the governments
and corporations are not fused, but still hardly the Pax
Americana or McWorld we were all halfheartedly looking
forward to back in the nineties. In fact it occurred to me
this week that the world map has come to resemble, to a disturbing
degree, the
one sketched out in 1984: the three monolithic blocs
of Oceana, Eurasia, and Eastasia, their borders constantly
fluctuating as they vie for influence in border conflicts.
We took Iraq for the oil, Russia’s muscling in on Georgia
for their pipeline, and China gets to keepTibet for whatever
the Mandarin character is for Lebensraum. And as
long as we’re not firing off nuclear missiles at each
other it doesn’t seem like anyone’s going to “interfere
in [each other’s] internal affairs,” as the Chinese
delicately put it.
But Marcus Aurelius reminds us: "Nobody
is surprised when a fig tree brings forth figs. Similarly,
we ought to be ashamed of our surprise when the world produces
its normal crop of happenings. A physician or shipmaster
would blush to be surprised if a patient proves feverish,
or a wind contrary." And the Jackson 5 are singing "I
Want You Back" on the radio. So things could be worse.
That’s my colleague Tony
Consiglio in panel 1---author of the minicomic series
Double Cross, the graphic novels More or Less and 110
Per¢ (Top Shelf Books) and the ongoing serial Titanius,
about an angry man encased in metal. He is also one of
the two or three funniest people I have ever personally
known. Buy his books. Even in a field composed entirely
of people deserving of greater success, Tony is an egregious
example.
The desolate frozen background in the last
panel may have been influenced by a viewing of Robert Altman’s
deservedly little-known Quintet. The framed item
I am carrying under my arm is B. Kliban's cartoon "Dirty
Fat Person Sits on President's Face," which I have successfully
purchased, thanks in part to your generous donations. That's
sort of my version of myself a la Steve Martin at the end
of The Jerk, blubbering: "I don't need anything except
this cat. This cat's all I need. My cat and this raccoon
coat. I don't need anything
else...
except
this
cartoon!
Just the cat and
the
raccoon
coat and
the cartoon. That's all I need!" This is actually a
pretty rosy scenario. The reality will doubtless be far grimmer.
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