Below is the latest The Pain -- When Will It End?
This one came out of a conversation I had with
Dave Israel over breakfast at Cross Street market last Monday morning. Originally
I was thinking that it might be time for another "Operation: ________"
cartoon, one in which I would 1.) go out with Jenna in New York City, 2.)
get her wasted, and 3.) get one of my drawings of her father, probably the
one showing him plastered and with a little paper cocktail umbrella stuck
behind his ear, tattooed on her ass. But ultimately we realized that a far
more elegant and torturous punishment for her father waould be this scenario.
Note the brand of cigars.
Well, obviously this cartoon is unfair, irrelevant, silly, mean-spirited,
completely below the belt. So fucking what. Making fun of someone's daughter
is pretty trivial compared to sending their children to Iraq to get dismembered
and killed for lies, for absolutely nothing. Anything I can do in print to
humiliate or belittle this President, anything to make him seem ridiculous
and contemptible, I will do. The entire Bush family line should be exiled
to Pakistan, to ensure that none of that vicious runty brood ever get their
greedy hands on political power in this country again.
It is, perhaps, a mercy that those who did not attend the book release party
for The Pain--When Will It End? will never even understand how stunted and
lustreless and without meaning their lives are. The consensus is that it was
the most fun anyone present had ever had. Everyone found everyone else to
be hilarious. The books sold out. I was presented with a work of art stolen
from an eight-year-old and an enormous rusted sling blade. Zero Benjamen unexpectedly
flew in from Boston. My beloved groupie Alicia wore a white slip decorated
with silkscreens of my drawings of my own face. (The cartoon "Sodomy
Legalized" was over her ass.) Boyd White wore an Arab headdress and a
T-shirt that said, "FUCK TIM KREIDER!" He told the novelist Myla
Goldberg that he loved her breasts. Alicia did a lascivious dance to "Let's
Go Crazy" with Deborah, whom I fear, so outraging the local ladies that
they were forced to tear off their own shirts in an effort to wrench attention
back to themselves. I kissed the lovely French Isabelle. Steve and Myra and
Jenny and I slapped each other hard, again and again, and Myra said it was
the happiest she had been since the day she married Steve. We wept with laughter.
Alicia, Jenny, and my colleague Emily all made out in the ladies' room. There
were tiny meatballs. And, most importantly of all, what has until now been
the entirely theoretical Coattail Effect was proven beyond a doubt to exist.
And that was only the first night.
Photo 1- (L-R) Dave Israel, Boyd White, Alicia
Miziolek, Tim Kreider,Jennifer Boylan, Randy Gardener
standing in for Jim Fisher, and (Front) Chris re-enact the invitation
behind Cox's Pub.