Below is the latest The Pain -- When Will It End?
I really did draw this on a nonstop
flight from Houston, Texas to LaGuardia in New York. Both the guy seated next
to me and the stewardess noticed that I was drawing myself blowing open the
emergency door, and looked at me. I imagined the stewardess notifying the
captain, and the captain notifying the ground, that there was a Potential
Risk in seat 15F. Then, inevitably, I imagined other passengers subduing me,
knocking me to the floor and pummeling me and sitting on me until we got to
New York, while I feebly explain about my recent surgery and the pin in my
shoulder and beg them to take it easy on me. I had been subjected to "random"
searches at the gates on both flights, so I was a little paranoid. But it
seems like you don't have to do too much in airports or airplanes thse days
to spend a night in jail. (Remember that guy who ran down the up escalator
to get his camera?)
Action Plan #1, by the way, is what I had decided I would do in case
of a hijacking when I flew to France just a few weeks after Sept. 11th. I
made many rigorous trial runs in my mind to prepare. Action Plan #2 is what
I'm afraid I'm actually likely to do. Action Plan #3 was the inspiration of
my hostess in Houston this weekend, who gave me permission to steal it. ("And
then the men hit them," she explained. The hijackers, that is.) I strongly
urge all female readers to pass the word on this. I know Amy would be the
first one up with her shirt off in a crisis. Ladies, unite!