Below is the latest The Pain -- When Will It End?
Updated 10/11/00

Artist's Statement

One night last week I woke up around six A.M., fully clothed, on a friend's couch. I felt horrible but not drunk, so I decided to drive the half hour home and sleep at least a few hours in my own bed. On the drive back, NPR was broadcasting what sounded like gibberish, which made me worry that maybe I was still drunk until a voice speaking English broke in: "Herr Muller is a pet store owner. He is attending a convention in Essen. He regards other pet store owners not as rivals, but as colleagues, and is eager to share his business experience." I realized I was listening to a German lesson. Why NPR is broadcasting foreign language tapes at 6 A.M. I do not know.

Disclaimer: I cannot attest with 100% certainty to the accuracy of my German. I can tell you that the strategy of adding umlauts to English words when you're guessing at German vocabulary works sometimes, but not often enough to get passing grades on exams.

Happy Oktoberfest, everyone! Ein, zwei, g'suffa!