“If you do this, I have to be honest—I cannot promise that I will convert and believe in You (in Your divine wisdom, You made me extremely skeptical). However, it will definitely spook me, and give me serious pause, and I promise I will reconsider my decades of hard-line atheism. Also, I will tell everyone I know the story of how I prayed to You and You miraculously slew him. I will proselytize for You. I feel that this is a major concession.
“Again, just to recap: please smite George Bush before Election Day—that’s November Second, a week from this Tuesday. O Lord, strike his ass down! This is Tim Kreider, saying thank You in advance and amen.”
Please, readers, join me now in prayer. Pray to whatever God you believe in and ask Him (or Her) to smite George Bush before Election Day. [Muslims welcome to participate!] If we can do this, we can tell every Fundamentalist Christian we meet that we asked God to smite the President and He did--that it was God’s will.