May 2008
1 May 2008 Dear Tim, Your latest is a masterpiece. I admire your adeptness at drawing the female form. The artist's statement was awesome. I, too, have terrible tales of unfaithful women from my past, which trouble the heart and too often poison one's hopes, but I am pleased as punch to hear you are getting your conjugal due. Your comics help me remember my own artistic responsibilities and valences, and your artist's statements are a guaranteed laugh every week! Keep up the good work man. After 15 months in China, I am back in the US, and I am proud to have you out there among the subaltern ranks of the, oh, what, "True Americans?" Yes. Just that. With gratitude and respect,
1 May 2008 just e-mailing to say how much i enjoy your comics/commentaries. they've had a profound impact on the way i view issues, which is quite a feat considering i'm a sophomore in high school and am generally disinterested in anything that doesn't involve my girlfriend, my friends, and my family. thanks,
6 May 2008 Subject: "Wizardry is a crime" http://www.tampabays10.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=79533 No, really.
7 May 2008 My friend and I were discussing NY fashion and she sent me a bunch of pictures that her friend took. When I saw this one I was like "Hey, I recognize that coat!" Is this you?
8 May 2008 Hey Mr. Krieder,
8 May 2008 What is the object that the guy in the 3d panel
is guy running through a cheese grater?
8 May 2008 In panel three of "It could be true",
what the heck is that person - -Mr. Clueless About the State of Sex Toys and
Performance Enhancers.
9 May 2008 So, my friends and I have started this really
awesome indie zine. We've got some really bitchin'
freestyle poetry in there, and I wrote a totally
conclusive essay laying out my fourteen-point thesis
about what REALLY happened on 9/11. There's a little
bit of room there, and I was wondering if we could
run one of your cartoons in there. We can't offer
you any money, but it'll be great exposure for
you--and you'll have the warm satisfaction of knowing
that your brilliant work isn't being sullied by
consumerist ideology. I can just use the images
from the website; the guy in the copy room at my
dad's
office says he can work with whatever we send him.
Rock on, dude! More relevantly, as I have no idea where you live, I just used the snail mail address on your site. When I met you (I'm not sure if you remember me--you were visiting James the Large; I ate an oyster for the first time and saw llamas), I was still unemployed, but fortune has smiled on me, and I'm currently pretending I'm in the middle class. If the address isn't good, please let me know right away so my bill-pay system doesn't send the check to the wrong place. It's not huge, but I hope it buys at least a few fish sticks, and I hope I'm not the only person who thought this. I'm as guilty as anyone else of taking you for granted, along with everything else ponied up free for my perusal on the internet. So, thank you. Have you considered working for commission? There's
a long history of artists supporting themselves
by working directly for people; the idea that artists
sell to middlemen (publishers) who take care of
the business side of things is an artifact of our
modern times. Bach wouldn't have gotten very far
without Duke Leopold's patronage, nor would Bouguereau
or Vigée-Lebrun without
their patrons. (Yes, I'm a fan of classical realism.
It's the fascist in me, no doubt.) As you don't
seem to be compensated very well for your time,
this would at least let you set your own price
for said time. You mused about pulling a B. Kliban
and doing a book of cat drawings; people fucking
love cats, and you might do well selling random
drawings
of Quetzal looking adorably surly. Also, people
have huge egos, and being the most talented caricaturist
this side of Dave Sim (I'm not even kidding here),
there might well be an untapped market of people
wanting to send you pictures and get back cartoon
versions of themselves. ("Send fifty bucks
and I'll draw you; send a hundred and I'll draw
you (An aside: sponsorship does apparently tend to lead to rather obsequious art. My favorite painting *ever*, "The Oath of the Horatii", is a breathtakingly moving work, but it's also a political piece encouraging the viewer to place loyalty to the state above all else, which is kind of horrifying. I wonder if it's even possible to make art that inspiring in the cause of individualism and freedom, or if that's kind of oxymoronic. Those French-Revolution icons of Liberty and Reason personified just became more symbols of their authoritarian nightmare. All this is, of course, just academic blithering when you're reduced to sharing meals with your cat.) I bet you're feeling like Arthur Silber at this point. He's a bit cranky at being underappreciated; people occasionally refer to him as being brilliant, but he lives in a shack and his teeth are falling out. And I want to thank you for introducing the question "when will *you* flee the country?" into my chats with family members. You've made the last seven sometimes-excruciating years far, far more bearable. Adam
14 May 2008 M. Krieder,
14 May 2008 The Heartbreak Fairy. Once again Tim, you are right on the money, right on time. Thanks for that. Sometimes I feel like the internet is just for me. This is one of those times. Spite
is such a crazy thing. I found out that her bike
got stolen. The bike upon which she rode out
of my life, was stolen. Probably by some kid who
got 10 pounds for it at the market early the following
Sunday. I didn't feel sad or outraged or frustrated
on her behalf. Nor did I say That seems to be the order in which I feel the forces affecting my life anyway. Pass along my condolences to your bartender. MIKE "airquotes" WOOD
20 May 2008 With your latest comic, I was just wondering what your thoughts are on this opinion piece. Chris
21 May 2008 Hello Tim, After pointing you to the "stake
through Milosevic's grave" story, I am hoping www.warrenellis.com pointed me to this: http://www.newscientist.com/channel/being-human/dn13930-16-of-us-science-teachers-are-creationists.html?feedId=online-news_rss20] I expect somebody else will have told you about this by now. Anyway. the U.S. is doomed. get out while you can. I have recently decided to even refuse my job sending me there. Cheers,
21 May 2008 Greetings.
21 May 2008 Tim, Long-time reader, first-time caller. Please tell me you have already heard about the plans for a Baghdad amusement park, planned and executed (sorry) by our people in Iraq. It's a timesonline.co.uk story, and I apologize for that, but here it is, in all its hideous glory: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/iraq/article3802051.ece Thanks for all the great cartoons, -K
22 May 2008 Dear Tim, One other thing you mentioned recently that was interesting: your friend hiding himself away on the old self-sustaining organic food compound. Was it in Oregon? Anyhoo, there's a key point the hippie survivalists are missing. He's planning on some kind of apocalypse, a complete breakdown of society as we know it, resulting presumably in lawlessness and some sort of famine or at least widespread shortages from which he wants to be insulated. The way I see it, this would play out in one of two ways: a) the government is still in control, in which case if there was a famine they would confiscate stable food supplies (like his) to be rationed out to the ungrateful masses; or b) the government is no longer in control, in
which case hungry people would show up at his farm
and take what they wanted, unless he was willing
to defend it with firepower. Even if he was, there
are more than a few high caliber rifles, automatic
weapons, and even heavier equipment floating around
out there. In the kind of conflict where you're
defending something of value from everyone else,
it's doubtful he would come out of top or be able
to continue sustainable farming. If things don't
get that desperate, and he enjoys the lifestyle,
more Take care!
22 May 2008 Hey Tim,
Well I don't know if I am pulling for her or not,
but it just seems those votes should get counted.
On her being scummy, well it won't be long until
we can say the same thing about Obama. I am starting
to think there is a pretty good chance the Democrats
will fuck up this election, I think we will see
the first signs of that when Barack picks his running
mate, I am thinking hawkish liberal.
30 May 2008 Dear Mr Kreider, the second panel of your most recent cartoon (05/28/08) managed, in that rare and elusive fashion that good cartoons have, to sum up a great many feelings regarding lapel pins. As such, I have recently felt compelled to quote your work in conversation as often as possible. I have even taken the lofty step of citing you within the hallowed realm of Facebook. I realise that this sort of praise is commonplace to you (and if not, then it should be). I also realise that you'd rather receive a donation than anything else, and as soon as I find myself capable of holding down a job I intend to comply (up to "drinking buddy", at least). That said, I would like to add that the level of enjoyment I derive from your work (both the cartoons and the statements) is on par with the kind of intellectual and emphathically consensual thrill that I get from reading the likes of Matt Taibbi and Hunter S. Thompson, particularly in terms of aesthetic pleasure and, perhaps most importantly, the exhilaration of realising that there are others that share your convictions, and indeed express them not only succinctly but amusingly to boot. All the best, P.S. My girlfriend recently remarked that you are far more attractive than you draw yourself. I hope that all is splendid and rampant on your end.
31 May 2008 Dear Tim, Have you heard the ramblings of Eben Moglen? He is a dreamer who fights with the law. He talks about a future utopia where the Internet directly connects us with those who create our culture. As a society, we will no longer have to concentrate our wealth so that the Media may forge ahead with the difficult task of deciding what content defines our culture, and when and how it is available. Instead, we consumers will directly survey the artists and support those with the most to contribute. I shall do my part, as long as you do yours. Best,
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