3 October 2007
Dear Miss Panz,
Please congratulate Mr. Kreider on a fine comic this week. In particular the word balloon panel struck me as close to my heart. Years ago I had a similar idea which I in fact accomplished with Photoshop of some of the same images but with the old ad slogan "Got Milk". I think I also had pictures of Tiananmen Square, and the first woman to be electrocuted as well as that famous shot he labeled as "Bad Hair Day". I might have also had an image of the Canary Islands atomic test; "GOT MILK?" I was spending a lot of time with lactose intolerant people at the time.
Best wishes and I hope to see Tim in Baltimore some time soon.
Oh and tell Tim that Mike and I have started brewing beer. It's an excellent past time.
3 October 2007
The stained glass idea is genuinely brilliant and should be done. Find a glassmaker and get designing! People with too much money will lap it up.
Minor nitpick re. archaic grammar: "cometh" and "givest" are both in the wrong persons. "Come" and "Give" will do just fine.
3 October 2007
Tim (if this gets that far),
When I was a young man, I had a "brush with greatness". I worked in the Diamond District in NYC. This is an area on 47th Street in Manhattan between 5th and 6th Avenues. The year was 1978 or maybe '77, and I worked for a company named Aurea Jewelry. Also known as Uno-A-Erre. You can google it, it still exists, although I don't believe that they still have offices on 47th St. They are a manufacturer of gold, based in Italy. Anyway...
I used to go for lunch at a health food shop nearby. I don't recall the name. One day while strolling to the shop, I saw a couple of people walking out of said establishment. It was John Lennon and Yoko. I just stood for a moment, stunned, as they walked towards me. I was literally frozen where I stood. My mouth hung open, I might have been drooling. Lennon and Yoko saw me and smiled. They walked up to me and he put out his hand. I slowly realized that he wanted me to shake it. So I did. He had a firm grip. Then Yoko gave me the peace sign. I smiled like a complete moron.
No words were exchanged. They walked by and I stood there for a while. Then I rushed into the shop and asked the guy behind the counter that usually made my tofu whatever if they came in a lot. He said that they dropped by occasionally when they were in the neighborhood. He said it like it was a simple thing. Bastard.
And so, the point is...
John and/or Yoko smelled VERY strongly of cannabis. And believe me, I knew the smell quite well back then.
One for the vaults.
4 October 2007
5 October 2007
I am pleased to
know that even when headlines are not humorous,
Mr. Krieder is.
6 October 20007
Protip: making blanket statements about all Southerners (http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly060315a.htm) being racists Christians who want to maintain a stranglehold on the culture of the country at large is a bit dishonest. The Midwest is also quite full of the same sort of idiot you caricature. People are working very hard in the south to change how screwed up it is--but we are working against a cultural momentum that even the Civil War didn't break. Some appreciation from New Englanders and people from the West Coast would be nice, for once, instead of being lumped in with the crazy Republicrat/libertarian religious fundamentalists. Isn't the inability to draw distinctions and treat people as individuals essentially what you lambaste in your comic?
Have a good day.
7 October 2007
Dear Ms. Hautpanz,
Please convey to your employer my pleasure with his latest masterpiece, "The Cartoonist's Other Projects". This is sheer, unabashed marvelousness. I chortled at each panel.
I may actually have some information to contribute to the fourth enterprise, the assemblage of celebrity odors. My friend and former co-worker Robert Kelley was once privileged to have been a television studio staffer, and it was his duty to clip microphones onto the lapels and blouses of interviewees. This included the very wealthy and technically gifted William Gates, founder of the Microsoft Corporation. As my friend approached to attach the microphone to Mr. Gates' suit, he was struck by the intense odor of his person. Not only is the billionaire challenged in the area of personal appearance, but he appears to be frugal with the soaps and deodorant as well. More credence to the Aspberger's diagnosis, perhaps. In any case, it is not a celebrity scent one would savor.
I wish to thank
Mr. Kreider for producing
the most intelligent
and entertaining cartoon
on the Internet. His
style and talent are
I rue the day I was
not at The
Million Year Picnic
to meet him.
Okay, my friend tells me it's the classic "I haven't showered in 3 days and probably slept in my clothes" odor: a mixture of sour, pungeant sweat; mildewy tweed; and just a faint hint of takeout Chinese Food. For that amount of wealth, I would expect he would have some kind of 3-second cleans-o-matic tunnel he could walk through that spritzes him with a blast of water, then instant 360-degree blow-dry, finished by a mist of cologne. But the truth is, he probably just is too lazy for morning ablutions and his staff are too timid to mention it.
9 October 2007
I've been reading your comic for years, but this is my first time writing. In the most recent comic I really enjoyed the first two frames, especially the idea behind "Cuckold!" The second one I can't say exactly why I like it, it's just funny, and could be a very versatile idea. So don't get down about it.
P.S. I rather like the non-political direction it's taking. Lately it's been so difficult to actually get mad about anything due to outrage overload, and judging by the Artist's Statements for the past few months you could use any kind of mental break.
10 October 2007
Kid, you are BACK!
I was wondering, is
Tehn pronounced "ten" or
some other way? I ask,
because I've noticed
that as I wander about,
doing the stuff I do
I find myself saying "Oh,
Mr. Tehn. . .",
and I was just wondering
if I was pronouncing
it right. Probably
not healthy, but I
don't give a fuck.
11 October 2007
11 October 2007
The Mr Tehn cartoons really ARE good. I keep getting reminded of the old Jackie Gleason TV series and his character "the Poor Soul" for some reason. "Why is a homeless monster sadder than a homeless human being?" Hmmm, I dunno. I guess we expect a human being to know better. My sister, who drove me back from BWI earlier today after a depressing trip to Chicago (I'd say more, but I don't want to be called an emo bitch either, esp if I am one) responded to my saying, "I'm the fat chick" by saying tartly, "You've always been the fat chick," and then going on at length about how the oh poor me thing is getting tiresome. I have to wonder if she felt that way if I were her tuxedo cat saying that. (Hmmm, Tim, sounds like your mom, if your description of her attitude about your artistic judgement re the Playboy cuckhold collage is accurate, and my sis have similar attitudes.)
By the way, I am calling you on this "bros before hos" thing. I've watched "Rescue Me" too, that's where it's from!
Oh, one more thing about the "w" creatures whose name must not be mentioned lest Alaska lady have a further lawsuit-induced cow: Boyd is right, those critters really do suck.
16 October 2007
I read the comic every week in the Baltimore City Paper. I certainly don't always agree with the opinions, but they do have the strength of conviction of, as Mr. Kreider described cartoonists, a stern moralist. The truth often hurts, but sometimes it needs to be given a voice so it may be heard by those who need the shock.
I appreciate the artist's statements - I think they're quite well written, actually.
A Fan in Balmer
16 October 2007
I appreciate the quote in the artist's statement today. You know, I think if I'd read it a few years ago I would've dismissed it as self-indulgent, depressing crap that I don't need to hear. But anymore, it seems almost comforting. Sort of like a Buddhist reminder that we're not really in control of anything- anathema in this culture that says if we are not /*/productive* then we are nothing; if we are not in control then it means we are weak and easily dismissed. But there is a certain peace in letting go of that illusion of control, of unclenching your fists that is almost comforting. Plus, anything that claims to be an enemy of drama can't be all that bad. Well, I'll be turning 40 in about a month so while this sort of thing is not exactly a laugh riot to think about, it feels good for me, like eating broccoli.
Stacy in Austin
18 October 2007
Love the strip, and artist's statements, and Bawlimer references - spent a few years at th' Hop living off Greenwood. City Paper, Otto Bar. Please please please don't kill yourself. At the very least wait until you've contracted some horrible disease, or WWIII starts. The Last Days In The Bunker (as I recall) with Dick saying "Not now George, I'm very, very, busy!!" - Brilliant!! Keep cutting!!!
It'll get better. Probably, I hope.
18 October 2007
I just wanted to let ol' T. Kreider know that his razor-sharp wit has been deployed as a weapon against the assholes of the world by a very minor foot-soldier (me) in the WAR AGAINST MORONS. A few months ago (in the good ol'Spring of 2007) I was an MS student in Geology at Montana State University, where there were some good ole anti-abortion assholes hanging around campus with their pictures of bloody fetusi(?) yelling at folks. One of said folks was me; following is, in screenplay format, our interaction:
So, in conclusion, it was a good day.
I am currently a PhD student (in Geology) at the University of Madison-Wisconsin, where I am sure I shall be forced to deploy the nuclear "Kreider"-option at some point.
Excelsior sir. Excelsior.
24 October 2007
A surprising number of my friends turn out not to recognize the name Gethsemane."
25 October 2007
About Mike Kirby, Sex Detective, the less said
the better." -
30 October 2007
Dear Mr. Kreider,