August 2007

1 August 20007

As is often the case....the cartoon is hilarious and sadly true.....and the artist's statement is even more so.

"we have all worn the diaper"

Truer words have never been spoken! Hold it together, man!

Also, to the admirable "screener and reader of emails"....i enjoyed last week's guest cartoon very much. Nice to see a little female perspective at the Kreider site. Hope your graphic novel is proceeding well.

Cheers

Eli Friedmann

Fellow resident of NYC.

Eli Friedmann:

I too am satisfied to see Mr. Kreider making with something of productive of his pains. If all is well it is a symptom of recovery. But I always fear the breeches.

I am happy of knowing that some of the readers appreciated my own effort. My graphic novel is filled in the pencils and requires only the constraint of inking. This takes time however and it is the best I withdraw my demanding functions in order to subject the work finished with my editor in time.

Respect,

C.-H.

1 August 2007

loved the quote so much.

Evan Stiles:

It is intense to see the double significance of the dumb cry of Mr. Coyote' s for the assistance, to be saved not only from the onrushing rock or anvil but the Sisyphean rock of his own badly directed and insatiable desires.

Respect,

C.-H.

2 August 2007

Please forward my gratitude to Mr Kreider for this week's cartoon and its comments, which were the most touching, heartfelt and true to life ones in a long time, not only in Mr Kreider's production, but among all the web comics I read. Thank you again.

Kai-Mikael:

It is by far the most personal report of the artist of Mr. Kreider's. It is rare so that he allows his chaotic and unhappy personal life to impose itself in the report and a measurement of his current fragile state. I am sure he will be reassured to know that it resounded with readers.

Respect,

C.-H.

2 August 2007

Dear Mr. Kreider,

The consistency with which your artwork has moved me over the past several weeks is nothing short of astonishing. You undoubtedly have a spirit deeply connected to the essence of the human condition. When the H-Bombs start to fall, I firmly believe that you will survive, thrive, and in the Mel Gibson/Kurt Russell-esque aftermath, go on to become a White Poet-Warlord with the best of them - and our world will be much the better for it.

I'll spare you the wordiness of my previous letters and simply say that your simple statement that "Often you just don't know whether you're the hero of a date movie or the villain on a Lifetime Network special until the restraining order arrives" contains a noble truth so compelling that it nearly moved me, quite literally, to tears. I, too, recently came to a corssroads of such a "profound romantic gesture." Everyone does, every day, I am convinced. Anyone who says they don't is lying through their teeth, or is living such a selfish, manipulative, denuded existence that I would barely venture to call them human beings, and even then in shape only.

My story, whose details are trivial, ends with my uttering the words ÇSelon moi, tu es morte.È -- "You're dead to me."

I'm sadly convinced that most of these stories end this way.

--Mathieu Moyen

Mathieu Moyen:

Mr. Kreider deplores that only that atomic holocaust could cause the respect and the stature social his work deserves. He wishes ardently for the H-bombs to fall so that his new life can start.

All the love affairs finish in the death of the emotions, until that which does not--which Mr. Kreider reminds ends in real death.

Resepct,

C.-H.

2 August 2007

Pass this along to Mr. Kreider:

http://www.tax.ok.gov/plates/sp145.html

Oklahoma is now offering global war on terror license plates.

Peter Mullins:

I will this information ahead to Mr. K. It will depress him in a manner that is familiar with him, and will be thus a kind of comfort.

Resepct,

C.-H.

2 August 2007

This week's essay is truly wonderful.

G.C. Teg Pipes,

Thanks very much for saying so. You put yourself out there like that, the worry is that people will think you are an insane person, so it's good to know it's not just me.

Now don't run off and kill any exes or the cops will search your emails and the press will blame me for it.

Tim

8 August 2007

Hey dude,

Sorry ya got dumped. Nice comic though. Few things are funnier than a picture of a guy getting blown by Kermit the Frog, though I question your choice of assassination targets. I suppose the correct choice lands you in Gitmo, which, on the upside, might give you that Che Guevara t-shirt appeal.

You ever consider dating that smokin' hot personal interness of yours?

Warmest regards,

T.S. McBride

Fan of your work in Dallas, Texas

Thomas McBride:

Mr. Kreider thanks you for your sympathies on his romantic tribulations, although before I composed this answer the worst has, with recognition, passed. Not all the readers appreciated the fellating frog-puppet as you have.

I regret it would require more than indefinite detention to lend Mr. Kreider the sterile call of the shaggy revolutionist. In spite of my admiration for his work, my relationship with Mr. Kreider is and will remain strictly professional, as I have explained to him many times.

On a personal note, Mr. Kreider invites you to fly out of the soulless hole of hell of Dallas.

Respect,

C.-H.

Soulless hell, indeed. Let us hope that Mr. Krieder genuinely has no idea just how right he is.

Warmest regards,

T.S. McBride

8 August 2007

Hello Ms. Hautpanz,

Thought Mr. Kreider would like to see how Harry from "Harry and the Hendersons" and Jeezus appear to have been born twins.

Jim Fisher:

I regret the lateness of this reply. The voyage and worry too much of my time occupied these last months.

Really, this juxtaposition is a thing to disturb. Wonders Mr. Kreider: Jesus and Bigfoot are the same? It is a theory to lend new resonance with the popular "Footprints" homily.

Respect,

C.-H.

9 August 20007

Subject heading: "If I See That Fucking Frog One More Time"

Seriously did that cockmongler Kreider really draw both angles of the same dick sucking frog scene in both cartoons? If so, thats skills. Otherwise it shitty photoshoop [sic].

And whats with that shit anyways? A fucking frog puppet sucking his crank while he's crying? And his last couple "how to win her back" and the now she will love me nuke thing? Has he turned into a whiny emo bitch? Tell him to get back to his murdering

republican fantasy cartoons or at least draw some fucking waminals and get over it. He/She/It wasnÕt worth it, and he can find someplace else warm, preferably moist, to stick his withering cock.

Yours Truly

Anonymous the Internet Hate Machine

Mr. Kreider's Reply:

10 August 2007

Firstly,

I wish to extend my sincerest hopes that Mr. Kreider's condition is improving or does so shortly.

Secondly,

I am truly inspired, although also saddened, by his most recent series of heartbreaking cartoons. Even though I tend to gravitate towards fart jokes after a lady hurts my feelings, I wish I could turn out work of this caliber instead. Really. They'll deny it, but all cartoonist exes read our cartoons long after they give us the boot.

Lastly,

None of it matters. Hurt feelings are something you just have to bottle up until they can be unleashed in an inappropriate drunken rage. Preferably towards an elderly person.

--Brian McFadden

www.bigfatwhale.com

Brian,

Thanks sincerely for your Kollegial kompliments of the recent kartoons. It's a new (or, rather, very old) direction for me and you never know how such things will go over. People responded pretty enthusiastically to my political work. One guy wrote in this week and called me "emo."

I visit an elderly comics critic at an assisted living facility (old folks' home) near me in New York City from time to time. He suspects nothing.

Tim

13 August 2007

Mr. Kreider,

As I have written to you before, I am a great fan of your cartoons and writing. Your humor speaks to me in ways that few others can reproduce.

From keeping up with your internÕs updates, I am pleased to find out that you are in Maine. I would very much like to buy you a drink if you come through Portland. You may reach me at either of the phone numbers below. If not, I completely understand, but please take a moment to review the link below for a refreshing view of the work we are doing in Maine.

Regards,

James Devine

James Devine:

Thank you for your words of support and pleasant invitation. However, it proves that Mr. Kreider is not longer with Maine if indeed he was ever. As I say in this week's report, it seems possible to have gone to the Burning Festival of Man in the desert. I will make follow to your message him in case he returns to the New England however.

Respect,

C.-H.

13 August 2007

Dear 'Ms. Czochula-Hautpþnz,'

I had the pleasure of corresponding with Mr Kreider in May of last year, though I've changed my e-mail address since then. At the time, he expressed a willingness to meet me if I ever visited New York city while he was in residence. I believe that his assent centered on my offer of enthusiastic fellatio.

I understand that he is experiencing great melancholy at this time, and that he may not be interested in oral sex from anyone but Kermit the Frog. Even so, I am going to be in New York on August 30th and 31st, and would enjoy a chance to meet him if he is still interested. Perhaps I could find some way of cheering him up a bit.

Yours sincerely,

Martine

The answer of Mr. Kreider's is a confidential matter.

15 August 2007

Ms. Czochula-Hautpþnz;

First please add my name to the list