A personal message from Tim Kreider, author of The Pain

Dear Readers:

I am paid a miserable pittance for writing and drawing The Pain each week. If this cartoon in some small way makes your life any less wretched and joyless, please make a financial contribution to support the work. You may wish to donate smaller amounts on a monthly basis or a single large lump sum. The best method is probably to donate late at night while drunk, when you are feeling fondly disposed toward your fellow man and will not remember it later. This way it will be possible to give money more than once while feeling the same agreeable glow of conscientious generosity anew every time.

Whatever you can afford to contribute will help enable me, in the most clinical sense of the word, to continue drawing cartoons instead of getting a real job. As an Argentinian colleague of mine once put it: "The important thing is to avoid honest work."



Let us just pause a moment to think about everything you get here at thepaincomics.com:

  • A new cartoon each week
  • An accompanying "artist's statement"--not some halfassed blog entry like, "OMG sorry it's been so long since I've posted, everybody, I've just been so busy between work and remodeling my bathroom and blah blah blah, well, not much to say right now, I guess, here's a photo of my fucking kids," but a real, thoughtful, well-written essay covering topics from political and social issues to planetary taxonomy and occasionally offering tantalizing glimpses of the complex, glamorous, and difficult life of a cartoonist
  • A complete archive of every Pain cartoon and artist's statement going back to the year 2000
  • Alternate versions of print cartoons, including censored panels
  • Readers' letters and responses from Tim and his intern, Ms. Phelætia Czochula-Hautpänz
  • Links to Tim's published writings (many of which are unavailable online)
  • Photos of Tim, Ms. Czochula-Hautpänz, Tim's friends and groupies, Pain-related events, and the fantastickal raccoon coat
  • Tim's enemies list

Oh my God it is so much. It is hard even to know how to begin to calculate the worth of such æsthetic and intellectual bounty in a dull and lustreless world such as ours. But let us attempt to do so.


Donor Levels

Friend of The Quetzal (under $10)

Your donation will feed Tim's cat for a week or two. If you think that cat will be grateful you do not know that cat.

Drinking Buddy ($10-$50)

Your contribution will pay for a night of Belgian ales at Tim's favorite East Village bar--or, depending on your generosity, a few glasses of Lagavulin, his favorite single-malt scotch, at his favorite uptown bar.

A True Pal ($50-$100)

See that's starting to pay the bills. That's ConEd, wireless, and Netflix for a month. A man can start to make a respectable living off his work.

O sweet, sweet Vicodin.

Sugar Daddy/Mama ($100 and over)

Now we're talking. Double-breasted Zegna suits, dinners at Blue Ribbon, evenings at the theater--this is the kind of coin that will enable me to woo Jennifer Connelly away from that shallow and talentless prettyboy Paul Bettany.


Donor levels are meaningless distinctions intended only to amuse. No actual benefits accrue with increased donation levels.

All donations will be acknowledged by a gracious email from Tim Kreider or his lovely intern, Ms. Czochula-Hautpänz.